It all started back in '64 in the small town of Paradise Pennsylvania, Randy P Smucker
was born to a gas station attendant Roland Smucker and a typical house wife named Rita Smucker.
It is rumored that Randy was not an only child but no conclusive evidence of any siblings have been
found.
When Randy was in grammar school his dreams and aspirations was to work with his dad at the gas station.
Tragedy struck when Randy was only 11 years old and his father Roland disappeared while chopping wood in
the forest never to be heard from. Speculation that Roland was abducted by a Yeti on that fateful day has
fueled sporadic searches in the forest to this day.
Randy's mother Rita now needed to be the bread winner in the family. Rita got into show business appearing
on the children's show Sesame Street along side Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, however, a dispute over air
time forced her out and she later became a regular on a competing show and another kids favorite called
The Muppet Show. With mom now able to support herself and Randy now attending high school, his dreams
were now on sports.
Randy tried out for the Badminton team but because of his lazy eye couldn't keep his good eye on the birdie.
He dabbled a little in the sport of dodgeball but he knew it really wasn't for him. His teachers always
encouraged him to "try something at least once until you find what your looking for". Randy ran with that
feel good message and went on to try out in many of the other sports teams at his school. Randy eventually
settled on bocci ball and won many bocci honors throughout his high school years. After graduating from
high school Randy got accepted to the Ivy League college called Bob's University in Oklahoma. After only one
semester at Bob's, Randy couldn't handle the pressure of school and the abuses he was hearing that his
mother Rita was enduring on her show with Statler and Waldorff and eventually dropped out.
Randy decided the military is where he need to be. While the rest of his friends from high school were rumored
to be in some of the most popular 80's hair bands, Randy ended up in a little known section of the military
called the CRISPS. (Conventional Runners In Super Puffy Shoes) The CRISPS turned out to be the most elite
force the United States military has and is the most secretive. Randy went through intense training in not only
psychological warfare but also small weapons and hand to hand combat. Randy was a master at all of them.
Randy was then transferred to the flight division of CRISPS and became what is now known as a Master Pilot.
Randy can pilot all military and civilian aircraft as well as some extraterrestrial craft that the US military had
laying around.
Randy began hitting the bottle to drown his sorrows of not knowing if is father Roland really was abducted by a
Yeti or if he just thought he could never live up to his fathers expectations of being a gas station attendant.
Randy was forced out of CRISPS on a section 8 (no one know what part of that section he fell into) and ended
up becoming a contractor for the DOJ and is currently detailed to a secret flight group somewhere in New Jersey.
Randy is a loner and doesn't keep in touch with the mother anymore. Randy gets himself into some precarious
situations especially with the people he is force to work with. If you encounter Randy approach with caution, if it's a
good day and you say Hello, heck, you may get a "hey how ya' doin'" back from Randy, but if he's having a bad day
that hello you send Randy's way may get you a lazy eye look from Randy or he even may flip you off.
